Funny Things About My Birth Month
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Birthday Cake Dear
Did you hear about the love affair betwixt sugar and cream? Information technology was icing on the cake.
It'll Practise the Chore…
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented past a Frenchman. It is chosen the guillotine. —P.M. Wodehouse
Whoops, No Present
Forget near the past, y'all tin't modify information technology. Forget well-nigh the future, y'all can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't go you one.
Sappy Birthday!
Q: Did you hear about the tree's birthday?
A: Information technology was a sappy one!
Family Age Jokes
Historic period is a relative affair. All my relatives continue reminding me how old I am.
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An Elephant Never Forgets
Q: What did the elephant want for his altogether?
A: A trunk total of gifts.
Goldfish Birthday
Q: What exercise you say to your goldfish on his altogether?
A: Have a fin-tastic twenty-four hour period.
Upwards For Bid
Y'all know you're getting old when you get to an antique auction and iii people bid on yous.
Altogether Cake Visit
Q: Why did the altogether cake visit the psychologist?
A: Because it was feeling crumby.
Golf game Cake
Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf brawl?
A: When yous slice it.
Hither are more hilarious golf jokes that are better than a pigsty in one!
3 / xiv
That's 1 Stuffed Animal
Q: What did the teddy behave say when it was offered some birthday cake?
A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.
Coffee Lovers Birthday
Q: What kind of birthday block practise y'all become for a coffee lover?
A: Choco-latte. (Hither are more java puns for a whole latte laughs!)
Always Getting Older
Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age.
Obvious Birthday Joke
Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest.
Altogether Magic
Q: What did the witch practice on her birthday?
A: She spellabrates.[Source: Jokes4Us]
Trick or treat! You need to learn these corny Halloween jokes.
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Purr-fectly Succulent
Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
A: Mice cream and cake.
Moby Dick Birthday
Q: How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
A: He had a whale of a time.
Self Dearest
Birthdays are like Valentine'south twenty-four hour period for one. — Jordan Trafford
Besides Much of a Proficient Affair
I like birthdays, just I think too many can impale you.
Birthdays in Heaven
Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in sky?
A: Angel food cake.
Do you ever have problem making information technology to the punchline? Hither are 75 brusque jokes anyone can call up!
5 / 14
Shiver Me Timbers!
Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A: Yeah, matey!
Pickle Birthday
Q: How practise pickles celebrate their birthdays?
A: They relish the moment.
True cat Birthday
Q: Where do you go a birthday present for your true cat?
A: From a true cat-alogue.
Birthday Toast
I always feel warm on my birthday because people don't stop toasting me.
Fewer Guests
You know you're getting erstwhile when yous have more than candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
Here are 50 more funnyjokes to celebrate National Tell a Joke Day!
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Surprise Parties
I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face up.
Cheers, Facebook!
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't actually know. — Andy Borowitz
What Have Yous Achieved?
Birthdays are just participation awards in life. — Brian Millward
Forget-Me-Not
The best way to remember your wife's altogether is to forget information technology once.
Always Changing Numbers
Information technology's easier to remember your age if you lot don't alter information technology every year.
Don't miss these knee-slapping knock knock jokes!
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Baby Cakes
It's ever a good thought to brand friends with babies. That'due south free cake one time a year for a lifetime.
Sound Investment
My female parent-in-police is like a fine wine. She gets more than expensive with age. — Ben McKay
Short Term Retention'due south the Get-go to Get
Today is your altogether, and so congratulate yourself—especially if you lot're still young enough to remember information technology.
Identity Crisis
I used to exist a boy trapped in a woman's torso. But later on nine long months, I was finally born!
Tin't Blow Out the Candles
The older you get, the more than you lot need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.
These hilarious DIY jokes are certain to bring down the house!
8 / 14
Crazy Coincidence, That!
Q: What practise George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in mutual?
A: They were all born on holidays.
Unique Gift
Every year on my birthday, I looked forrard to my aunt'due south gift—a scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. One twelvemonth, she must have had better things to practise because I received a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and a how-to-knit volume. Her card read, "Scarf, some associates required."
Birthday Greetings
Greeting Cards: When yous care enough to ship the very best but not plenty to really write something.
Exercise the Math
I read that 60 is the new 40, which is a really nice fashion of saying that I'll have to work an extra 25 years before I tin can retire. — Brian Millward
Glass Half-Empty
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
These are the best jokes from upwards-and-coming Canadian comedians.
9 / 14
Bald Man Altogether
Q: What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
A: Thank you, I'll never part with it.
Who's Counting?
If yous feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just demand someone to cheer you up, remember… Y'all can always modify your altogether on Facebook!
Under the Pocketknife
You lot should never get plastic surgery to await younger. You should get it to wait rich. — Brian Millward
Your Pleasance, My Pain
Birthdays are similar bank holidays: well-nigh of u.s.a. take to work. — Jordan Trafford
Physics Lesson
Birthdays are a not bad time to stop and capeesh gravity. Sure, information technology makes things sag equally yous get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room so yous don't have to chase it. — Greg Tamblyn
Every scientific discipline-lover will appreciate thesephysics jokes.
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Twin Dilemma
I finally realized my parents favoured my twin brother. Information technology hit me when they asked me to blow upwardly balloons for his surprise birthday political party. [Source: OneLineFun]
Words of Wisdom
You can't aid getting older but you don't have to go onetime. — George Burns
Mandatory Migration
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that'south the law. —Jerry Seinfeld
Due Process
We could certainly ho-hum the aging process down if information technology had to piece of work its fashion through Congress. — Will Rogers
Make a Wish
Dearest eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, eleven:11 and birthday candles: Do your job.
Need a one-liner to spice up your wedding speech? Hither are 170 hilarious jokes about marriage!
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Take the Wheel
Regular naps prevent quondam historic period, especially if you take them while driving. [Source: Huffington Post]
They Call it Nesting
I'm at an age when my dorsum goes out more than I do. — Phyllis Diller
Off-white Alarm
If you lot're going to take a nap at this age, let u.s.a. know—we wouldn't want to bury you lot by accident. — Deepak Kashyap
Birthday Burn
He's so quondam that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. —George Burns
Catch-22
Past the time a man is wise enough to sentinel his step, he's too old to go anywhere. —Billy Crystal
Don't miss these family friendly jokes shared by our readers.
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It's All Relative
Looking fifty is bang-up—if you're 60. —Joan Rivers
The Minor Print
You tin can live to be a hundred if you requite upwards all the things that make y'all desire to alive to exist a hundred. —Woody Allen
Thoughtful Gesture
We put only a single candle on your cake, as we didn't want y'all to strain your lungs. — Deepak Kashyap
It Can Be a Blessing
At your age having a clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory. —Steven Wright
Sleeping Arrangements
You know yous're old when you and your teeth don't sleep together.[Source: Jokes4Us]
Ready to groan? Here are 50 bad jokes you can't help merely laugh at!
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But It's For Me!
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically souvenir wrapped information technology. —Joan Rivers
Hey, Information technology Works
Q: What'due south the best way to get a man to remember your ceremony?
A: Become married on his birthday.[Source: Jokes4Us]
Birthday Budget
You know y'all're getting sometime when the candles cost more than the cake. —Bob Hope
Isn't It Ironic?
A birthday is a great fourth dimension to take a moment to appreciate the little things. That said, I know that spotting fiddling things is easier said than done at your age! Happy Birthday![Source: Birthday Wishes]
Inquire a Silly Question
Q: "Were whatsoever famous men born on your birthday?"
A: "No, only little babies."[Source: Jokes4Us]
These are the funniest Reader'due south Digest jokes of all time!
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Throw It to the Air current
Yous know you're getting quondam when you realize that circumspection is the only thing you care to do.[Source: Jokes4Us]
Have a Breath
The emergency department is on speed punch just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack bravado the candles.[Source: Birthday Wishes]
With Nifty Age Comes Bang-up…
Some other year to prove that older doesn't really mean wiser. Happy birthday![Source: Birthday Wishes]
Cake With Candles
Q: Doctor, doctor—why exercise I get heartburn every fourth dimension I eat birthday block?
A: Try taking the candles off.
If yous enjoyed these birthday jokes, don't miss this roundup of the best Canadian jokes.
Originally Published: May 31, 2021
Source: https://www.readersdigest.ca/culture/birthday-jokes/